Today’s Quote: Overthinking is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere. – Erma Bombeck
Welcome to another episode of the podcast that teaches you how to be a ridiculously good virtual assistant.
Today we are going to talk about overthinking. While thinking as a business owner is a good skill, doing too much of it can keep you stuck.
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Connect with Tracey D’Aviero, VA Coach and Trainer
Episode Notes:
If you are someone who overthinks stuff, this episode is for you.
It’s for us. I do it too – I would be willing to bet that everyone has done it at one time or another.
Why is overthinking such a big deal?
There are a lot of reasons why it’s bad (but the good news is that we can fix it)
Here are some reasons why it’s not good to overthink:
- it keeps us stuck where we are
- it keeps us from making decisions
- it makes things seem bigger than they probably are
- it keeps you in the past, reflecting on what you could have done better
- it helps you make excuses about why you didn’t do or say something
- it makes you worry about things that haven’t even happened yet
Staying stuck is a common issue for Virtual Assistants anyway, so it really is not good to let overthinking take over on top of that.
The more you think about something, the more you train your brain to think about it.
It’s just a bad habit. But it may be one you have had for many years.
Let me ask you a question right out the gate. Are you aware that you are overthinking when it happens?
If you aren’t, then that has to be the first thing to think about.
Awareness is important, and even that isn’t easy.
I suggest putting a system in place to help yourself – and that might take some practice too, but you have to start somewhere!
Write your system down = and make changes to it each time you use it, as necessary, so that you get better at handling it.
If you have had this habit for a really long time, it will take time to change that habit. Give yourself a break, and give yourself the tools you need to make the change.
So you need a system to get out of the overthinking valley when you are there – and never beat yourself up for going back there. Just plan to move back out as quickly as you can.
So, first things first – you do need to keep an eye out for it. Look for the signs so you can identify when it’s happening, and then consult your system.
Look for the solution to the problem. Always focus on fixing the issue. Look at it as objectively as you can, even though sometimes that can be hard when it’s your situation.
Step out of your own situation so you can look objectively at what is going on. Try not to get carried away by your own emotions.
I always suggest treating yourself like a client when you are having trouble doing something. Do the same here.
What if your client (or a loved one) presented an issue as overthinking? What would you tell them? How would you help them? How would you be objective about it?
Write all of those things down. You need to do the same things for yourself.
And it is hard to do it when it’s for yourself, I get it, but you can do it.
Get help with this in the beginning if you find it difficult, Practice makes perfect, and I promise you will get better at it the more you practice your system.
When you have worked through something, take a moment to write that down too – so you can refer to it next time. Celebrate that success, you just proved to yourself that you can do it.
Never beat yourself up when you realize you are holding yourself back because of overthinking.
Always honour your thoughts, and your feelings, but still know that you need to change them if you are going to move forward.
Remember that you can’t control everything. When things are rough, focus on the things that you can control. Change the things you can change. Move past the things that you can’t change.
And definitely focus on what can go right. There is always a good side! And you deserve to be there. And you will get there if you let yourself.
Actually handling the overthinking will do wonders for you:
- you will start to move forward, even if it’s just in baby steps
- you will be able to make the decisions you need so you aren’t spinning your wheels
- you will see things for what they really are, and not the huge issues that you are presenting yourself now
- you will focus on the future, and learn from what has happened – so you can pay much more attention to the stuff that you did right
- you will stop making excuses because you will be saying and doing the right things
- and you will worry a lot less because you will focus on the future and all the positive stuff that you now see for yourself
When things start to pop up, grab that system.
Remember that you worked your way through something last time, and you can do it again.
And final advice: a lot of people suggested giving yourself time to overthink – like set a timer, and then when the timer goes off, stop. I don’t see the value in that myself, but I would be remiss if I didn’t bow to the experts here.
For myself, I understand the idea of identifying it, but I can’t quite see how you can let yourself be upset and then just shut it off.
I prefer to identify it and then go to my system. You can do whichever works for you. As I always tell you, I can’t teach you something that I don’t have experience with so there’s my caveat for you ha ha
I hope I was able to give you some practical tips today on how to handle your habit of overthinking.
Need Some Help?
If you need some help with getting your system in place to fix your overthinking, reach out to me at tracey@yourvamentor.com. I’ve helped hundreds of VAs through their challenges and got them on their way to the next thing. I’d love to do the same for you. I do private coaching, and registration for my new mastermind group The Virtual Circle is open now. Maybe one of those is right for you!
That’s all I’ve got for you this week, thanks for tuning in to learn to become a ridiculously good Virtual Assistant.