Welcome to another episode of the podcast that teaches you how to be a ridiculously good virtual assistant.
Today I want to talk about the importance of reflection on what you have done before, to create success moving forward.
Today’s Quote: “Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.” – Margaret J. Wheatley
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Connect with Tracey D’Aviero, VA Coach and Trainer
Episode Notes:
There is a lot of pressure this time of year to rush straight into planning. New planners. New goals. New intentions. New versions of ourselves.
As a matter of fact my to-do list has exactly that type of stuff right at the top of it right now.
What do I want to do? What do I need to plan it? What exciting new things will I do?
But reflection is the part most people skip.
And when reflection is skipped, the same patterns quietly repeat themselves.
This episode is not about fixing anything.
It is not about setting goals yet. It is about slowing down long enough to actually see what this year gave you, what it took from you, and what it revealed about how you operate as a business owner.
Because clarity does not come from pushing forward harder. It comes from looking back honestly.
I have a lookback process that I have done with my clients that walks through a lot more than just how much money you made or whether you liked all your clients and work or not.
Looking back at what you have done can show you the bad stuff that you don’t want to repeat, but also all the good stuff that you might not have even realized happened.
This past year probably stretched you in ways you did not expect. Some of those stretches were good. Some were uncomfortable. Some may have felt disappointing.
Information That Will Help You Do Better Next Year
Instead of labeling the year as good or bad, successful or unsuccessful, this is your invitation to look at it as information.
Information about how you make decisions.
Information about how you handle uncertainty.
Information about where your confidence showed up and where it disappeared.
Reflection is not about judgment. It is about awareness.
When you skip this step, your goals for the new year are built on assumptions instead of truth.
Think about the moments that stood out most this year. Not just the wins. The moments that linger. The situations you still replay in your head. The decisions you questioned afterward.
Those moments matter more than the highlight reel.
I’d love to hear about your highlight reel! I have many things on mine that I forgot about until I sat down to do my lookback.
Many virtual assistants end the year focusing only on numbers. Income. Clients. Growth.
Those things matter, but they are not the full story.
A deeper question is this.
Who did you become while running your business this year?
Did you become more decisive or more hesitant?
More confident in your value or more cautious about being visible?
More willing to be seen as a business owner or more comfortable staying small and safe?
These shifts are subtle, but they shape everything.
You do not carry revenue into the next year. You carry habits. Beliefs. Expectations. Patterns of behavior.
Get Something Different Next Year
That is why reflection is not optional if you want something different next year.
You can’t get the something different if you don’t think about what you need to change to get there.
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
And you might not even know what to change.
You aren’t expected to – how can you get somewhere you haven’t been, or do something you haven’t done before? How can you possibly know how to get there?
Sometimes you need help.
With the strategy. With the plan. With the work. That’s up to you where you get the help.
What Clues Can You Find To Help You Succeed?
There is also value in noticing what you did not do.
The ideas you delayed.
The boundaries you meant to set.
The opportunities you talked yourself out of.
Not to shame yourself. To understand yourself.
Because every avoided action had a reason behind it. Fear. Overwhelm. Lack of clarity. A belief that you were not ready yet. Those reasons are clues.
What are your clues to your behaviour? Why did you do this when you really knew you should have done that?
What kept you stuck, or what made you take a step back?
Only when you know what that is, can you correct it or change it for the future.
If you do not look at your clues now, they might quietly resurface when you start setting goals for the new year.
You might write down bigger goals. Better intentions. Stronger promises.
But the same internal brakes stay in place.
Intention is a great thing – but to actually reach the goal you need to make sure of who you are, and if that’s a different person than the one that made the other decisions, you might need to make some changes to who you are showing up as.
As the year comes to a close, this is a powerful moment to ask a few honest questions.
What drained you more than it should have?
What gave you energy that surprised you?
What felt heavy but necessary?
What felt easy but unimportant?
These answers help you see where you are misaligned. Not failing. Misaligned. And misalignment is correctable once you notice it. This is not about ending the year perfectly. It is about ending it consciously.
Reframing something as a misalignment is a good strategy because yes you may have failed at something, but when you look at it from the perspective of not being aligned with what you wanted to do for some reason, you can see the success coming when trying again.
The holidays often blur time. Days feel softer. Schedules loosen. Expectations shift.
That is not a distraction. It is an opportunity. An opportunity to reflect without urgency. Without pressure to immediately act.
Because planning without reflection leads to goals that look good on paper but feel heavy in practice.
From Where You Are – To Where You Want To Be
Before you decide where you are going next year, you need to understand where you actually are right now.
Not where you wish you were. Not where you think you should be. Where you are.
That truth is the foundation of sustainable confidence.
Heavy? I don’t mean to make this heavy. This is supposed to be an inspirational episode!
Even if your year was not a good one – even if you think it sucked – there are good things in it. There are correct paths to success. There are ways to do better and to be better, and to be happier and more prosperous.
Let’s circle back to today’s quote: “Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”
Reflection is not about dwelling on the past. It is about preventing the future from being built on autopilot.
I think sometimes when we do that lookback process we focus only on the things that went wrong. And that can really beat up your mindset.
If you look for the intended consequences – what was supposed to happen – and then figure out why that didn’t take place, then you can see what you need to do the next time.
Did you not get a great client? Why not? Because you botched your discovery call? Or because you didn’t send a great proposal? Or because you gave up on your follow up?
These are real things that actually DO work to get great clients.
So you don’t need to focus on your failure of that, but on the ‘what didn’t go right, and how can I fix it for next time.’
Did you ghost your own social media? Why? What was your plan? Was it too much? Did it not get the interaction that you needed or expected? Did you spend too much time doing it and abandoned it?
How can you fix that for the coming year so that you get the visibility you need without overwhelming yourself? And how you can create content that does work for you, if that was a struggle last year?
Do You Need Help?
Sometimes these things mean getting help. You don’t have to do it all yourself. Remember our episode about can a coach help you get VA clients – our quote was from Marie Forleo in that episode and that’s what she said.
And she is right. You don’t have to do it all yourself. You never did.
Get help when you don’t know how to do something. It could be a simple coaching call, or a short course, or maybe you do need longer term help with accountability.
Whatever it is, know that there are options and you can move forward when you invest in getting help.
When I work with VAs one of the things I tell them is that I teach them things ONCE, that they can continue to apply over and over again. They are fundamentals. So if you need help with some fundamentals, reach out.
Connect with me at YourVAMentor.com/links and let’s chat.
In the next episode, we will talk about setting goals that actually support who you are becoming, not who you think you should be.
But for now, let reflection do its quiet work.
Pause. Then plan. It’s a much better way to do it.
Thanks so much for tuning in this week. I’m Tracey D’Aviero, The Confidence Coach for Virtual Assistants. I’ll see you next time!