Welcome to another episode of the podcast that teaches you how to be a ridiculously good virtual assistant.
Today we are going to talk about part two of imposter syndrome – what it is, and how to kick it to the curb!
Today’s Quote: It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not. – Denis Waitley
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Connect with Tracey D’Aviero, VA Coach and Trainer
Episode Notes:
We are back with part two of Kick Imposter Syndrome to the Curb. Listen to part one here!
Last episode we talked about what imposter syndrome is and how it can show up for us. How is does show up for us. And how it shows up for 82% of other people too – what a crazy stat was that! I think I’d love to be in the 18% (but I’m not ha ha).
We also talked about adjusting your inner monologue, focusing on the value you bring to your clients and their businesses, and knowing your stuff.
This week I want to go a little deeper into it. Let’s go.
Talk About What You Can Do
We talked about creating content in the last episode, and how your brain seeing valuable content on a daily basis is a good thing.
Your valuable content, of course. Sometimes we get stuck in the scroll, and we read other people’s words, see their images, their videos, and we don’t think to create our own stuff.
And we also talked about saying positive things out loud. That’s what this tip is about.
Talk with people. Every day.
I always encourage you to have real conversations with business owners every day. Not to sell them something they don’t want or need, but to make those connections.
When you talk about what you can do what happens? You get better at talking about it for sure. I remember going to a business breakfast meeting every week and practicing my elevator pitch in the car on the way there. I would record it on my phone and then play it back to hear if it sounded okay. I would re-record if it didn’t. It often didn’t.
You may know that I hate elevator pitches. But they are good for forcing you talk out loud!
What I want you to do is to talk to real people. Have conversations. Ask them what they need help with in their business. Tell them how you can help, if you can.
Talking about what YOU can do builds up that positivity and value muscle that you need to keep imposter syndrome at bay.
If you hear yourself saying ‘I can help you with that. That’s exactly how I help my clients.’, that’s the serotonin you need to stay positive.
And of course, the more conversations you have, the more clients you will get. It’s just a matter of numbers.
Find your people, talk to them. get clients. I assure you, imposter syndrome doesn’t stand a chance when you are not struggling to find clients!
Oh and just a final note on this, I see it in the VA groups too – when someone asks a question, do you feel like you don’t have the experience to answer their question? You do! Maybe that’s the challenge you set for yourself this week – speak up. Contribute! It really helps those positive brain thoughts!
Share Your Feelings
Okay are we getting back into the woowoo here? not really.
BUT once of the most valuable things you can do for yourself and your business is to not try to go it alone.
Get help from someone you trust. Maybe lots of someones.
An accountability partner is one of the best things you can have to walk through new processes, talk through issues.
Getting someone else’s perspective that you trust – and that understands your VA business – especially when you are struggling, can be really helpful.
And in terms of imposter syndrome, it doesn’t even let you go there. If you are having a tough time, jump on the phone with someone and talk it through.
You will soon realize that others have many of the same problems as you – VAs or otherwise. And that definitely helps you realize that not everyone is way better off than you.
Again, on the flip side, can you be that person for someone? For many people? Maybe you join TVC like I always tell you. You will learn in a supportive group like that, that you have really valuable contributions.
Putting yourself into a situation (regularly) where you can give and get advice automatically helps you shed imposter syndrome because you get the support you need and you also give back. I highly recomnend it!
Learn to Like Yourself
Well, this one might be a little harder to do – especially if you are having a tough time.
But if you learn to like yourself, then you will want to help yourself. We tend to help people we like!
I use this exercise all the time when my VAs are struggling to figure things out in their business.
Do it for someone else. Pretend you are doing that research for someone else. Pretend you are trying to find a solution for a client or a friiend. How would you talk to that other person if they were going through what you are going through? Or if they were hearing what you are saying to yourself?
You have to trust yourself to be in business. You have to believe in yourself. You have to be confident in your abilities and your expertise.
And yes, you have to like yourself.
I know that if I told you to do that exercise for someone else, you would pull out all the stops without hesitation.
You would say ‘oh yes, I can do that’ and jump into action. But trying to do the same thing for ourselves isn’t as easy sometimes.
It should be – and you have to treat yourself the same way – that’s why having a support network is so important. You’re not alone in having trouble with this one!
Realize No One is Perfect
We all look at other people and think they have it all together. Social media can be such a bad thing, because everyone only posts the good stuff on it and that’s the stuff we see every day. Most people never post the negative stuff that we all go through.
No one is perfect. And you don’t have to be either.
We think we are an imposter because we measure ourself against someone else – or against many others. But measuring properly isn’t possible when you don’t have all the facts. You aren’t comparing apples to apples.
Recognizing that everyone else has their own ‘stuff’ too is a good start to helping you simply not be so hard on yourself.
In my research for this podcast topic, I saw some detailed kinds of imposters. I won’t detail them in here for you because, well, it’s not my content – but also because I want to get you OUT of yours, not help you identify with it further haha.
But just know that no one is perfect, everyone is fighting some kind of battle, even if they don’t show it on social media.
Stick to your issues and figure out how to work through them so that you are done, but don’t aim for perfectionism. It’s exhausting, it can keep you stuck, and no one really ever expects it anyway!
Celebrate Your Successes
You guys laugh when I tell you to start a success journal.
It seems silly to write down things that went well today. I get it, it seems trivial.
But how do we remind ourselves of all of the good things that we do every day, especially when we are having a bad day – or even just a bad hour?
We need a reminder, and we don’t always have someone sitting beside us to do it for us. Your success journal is the tool to help remind you of all of the GOOD you are doing every day.
What should you put into it? Things your clients say (use their words), things that helped someone else be better or do better, things that you finally did right, things that you always do right, anything that you consider a success. Some will be big, many will be small.
But it’s all about YOU and how you helped other people – or how you helped yourself. Give yourself the tools you need to keep that top of mind.
And don’t forget to own your accomplishments. Have you won an award, been invited to speak somewhere, been asked for advice from someone?
All of those things are successes. And again, writing them down helps you
Articulate Your Strengths
If your client or your partner asked you to make a list of things that they were amazing at, you would sharpen your pencil and get to work on that list.
It would probably even come easily to you, just like I mentioned earlier.
I tell the story often of a client of mine who was working with me on her marketing message. She was struggling to talk about herself and how amazing she was at the services she offered. So I flipped the conversation and asked her instead to tell me why someone should work with her husband, who was a tradesman with a business of his own. She could easily tell me exactly why clients should hire him. And then I told her that she could do the same for herself. You know your own strengths. Get out of your own head — and way — and write them down so you can share them too.
Not sure what your strengths are? Get someone help you with the list. When we are struggling with self-esteem or self-confidence issues, we sometimes need help to see our value. So ask someone. I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what they say. Maybe ask them anyway!
So that’s it, like 10 things maybe that can help you kick your imposter syndrome to the curb.
Get rid of it.
Let’s circle back to today’s quote: It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not. – Denis Waitley
We have proven with every tip in this two part podcast that you are in total control of moving yourself and your business forward. You can change the way you think (easily, I might add).
It’s not what you are. It’s NOT what you are.
You are a smart, capable, skilled, educated, experienced professional.
I feel like I am reciting the line from that movie The Help – You is smart. You is kind. You is important. You is!
No, really, though, you are.
You deserve success, you deserve happiness, you deserve the recognition of others. Go get after it!
I want you to know that I can help you do this stuff in your business. That’s literally the reason I am here. To help you become a ridiculously good VA.
What You Need to Do Next:
This is what I help VAs do. As a Virtual Assistant coach and trainer, I help you create success, teach you how to fix what isn’t going right in your VA business. When we work together either privately or in a group we talk specifically about your business and you – your VA business is unique.
I’ll help you clearly understand what your biggest issues are, and help you through the strategy and plan to fix them.
I’ve helped hundreds of VAs through challenges just like yours, and got them on their way to growing their business and the lifestyle that they dream of. That you dream of!
I’d love to do the same for you.
Let’s work together privately to get you to your really big goal. It’s the fastest way to get results and we can start right away. Learn more about private coaching here.
The Virtual Circle (TVC) is a monthly mastermind group for Virtual Assistants just like you. We get together 3 times a month for group Zoom sessions to talk about what you are struggling with, working on, or celebrating. It’s a close knit community of your VA colleagues that provides the best kind of support for your VA business. Learn more about TVC here.
My self study program Getting Started as a VA can help you get your VA business started easily and quickly too. You can sign up right away and be on your way to getting clients by the end of the program, with all the right foundations in place. Check out the program here.
Reach out to me if you need to talk about where you are stuck and what the right option might be to get you moving. It’s literally all I’m here to do is help you get to where you want to go. Book a complimentary Cut to the Chase call with me here.